Use Your Loaf.

I was on my way back from Cardiff the other day, namely Sunday, and whilst I was waiting for my bus, I decided to nip to Tesco for a Lion Bar (my new vice). I crossed the road at the traffic lights (waited for the green man before crossing, of course) and as I was walking towards the bridge, which takes you right next to Tesco’s door, I heard a stifled cough behind me. I turned and saw a man, tall, mid-forties, smoking, dark hair, grubby jeans and a navy jacket, hands in pockets,  and less than 4 metres away from me. We shared a moment as we held each others gaze. It was at that instant, I felt this yank in my stomach, and I knew that something wasn’t quite right.

I walked faster. He walked faster. I turned my MP3 off to hear him better. My heart was in my throat. My chest pumping. My stomach in the floor. I crossed the bridge and considered my options. I could risk it and stop. Turn around and walk past him. Hope for the best. Or I could keep walking into a closed Tesco deserted car park with a quicker pace. I decided to keep walking. I risked a look and noticed he’d stopped a few metres behind me to fix something on his belt and without a second thought, I ran. I positively flew down past the trolleys and cash points and as I reached the end, I turned and saw him at the bottom of the bridge looking at me. I kept running all the way past the garage and back up towards the road that lead back to the bus station. I didn’t stop to look behind me, I just kept running. I ran all the way back to the bus station and sat down, shaking.

Now, this man might just have been a gentleman walking home from the pub, minding his own business, and I might have completely misjudged the situation. But something inside tells me otherwise. I saw this look in his eyes and they always say to follow your intuition, and females feel it more than men. Perhaps we are just a tad more dramatic? But he was seriously close to me, and if he was only walking home after an innocent session in the pub, why did he go via the Tesco bridge? Did he too think Tesco was open and hoped to get a packet of cigarettes?

To be rather honest, I’m glad I didn’t hang about to find out. Anything might have happened. He could have asked for the time or kicked the shit out of me. He looked capable of both.

Then on the bus home, the driver had to swerve to avoid a speeding, out of control car.

In both situations, my fear and adrenaline was soaring, but I still worried about what if I hadn’t run away and what if we had crashed? Who would tell all the people I love how much I love them? Who would tell him that I miss him? There is this precarious line that we all are too worried to cross, for fear of affecting things in the ”long-term”, this is assuming that there is one, of course. So, perhaps we should all take the present as our foreseeable future, and never regret anything we cannot correct, live for the moment, use our common sense and our loaves (brains),  and be safe in the knowledge that we did the best we could with the time alloted to us on this Earth.

S.E.M